7 Mistakes You're Making with Your Memoir Draft (& How to Fix Them)

So you've decided to write your memoir, YES! What an incredible, brave, heart-centered choice. Your story matters & the world needs to hear it.

But here's the thing I see happening ALL the time with my amazing memoir clients: you're making totally fixable mistakes that are keeping your powerful story from shining as brightly as it could.

Don't worry, I've got your back! Today we're diving into the 7 biggest memoir mistakes I see (& trust me, I've seen a lot of them), plus the gentle, intuitive fixes that'll have your draft singing in no time.

Ready? Let's dig in!

Mistake #1: Starting Way Too Early (Like, Birth Early)

Oh honey, I get it. You want to give readers the full picture, right? So you start with your childhood, or maybe even your birth, thinking "They need this background to understand my story!"

Here's the truth: Unless you're Oprah or Michelle Obama, readers aren't here for your entire life story. They're here for the transformation, the pivotal moment, the heart of what changed everything.

Starting too early is like making someone sit through 20 minutes of previews when they came for the main event. You're burying your most compelling moments under a mountain of "setup."

The Fix: Start with the moment that directly connects to your memoir's theme. That big divorce? The cancer diagnosis? The moment you decided to start your business? That's your opening scene.

You can always weave in earlier memories as flashbacks where they naturally enhance your story. Your memoir doesn't need to span decades, it could focus on two years, six months, or even one transformative week!

Mistake #2: Writing Without a Clear Theme (AKA the "So What?" Problem)

This one breaks my heart because I see SO many beautiful, well-written memoirs that just... drift. They're essentially a series of "& then this happened & then this happened" without a clear thread holding it all together.

Your memoir needs to answer this question: What will readers take away from my story?

Without a theme, your memoir feels like a really long journal entry instead of the life-changing read it could be.

The Fix: Get crystal clear on your theme! Ask yourself:

• What did this experience teach me?
• How did I transform through these events?
• What universal truth did I discover?

Common memoir themes include overcoming adversity, healing from trauma, finding your voice, embracing change, or discovering self-worth. Pick one and let it guide every scene you include.

Mistake #3: Telling Instead of Showing (The Grocery List Problem)

"I was scared." "It was difficult." "I felt overwhelmed."

Sound familiar? This is what I call grocery list writing, you're checking off emotions & events without actually letting readers EXPERIENCE them with you.

When you tell instead of show, you're robbing readers of the chance to feel what you felt, to be right there in those pivotal moments with you.

The Fix: Transform your summaries into vivid scenes with sensory details!

Instead of: "I was nervous before the surgery."
Try: "My hands wouldn't stop shaking as I changed into the hospital gown. The antiseptic smell made my stomach churn & every footstep in the hallway sounded like thunder."

Show us what fear looks like, sounds like, feels like. Trust me, your readers will thank you!

Mistake #4: Trying to Fit Your ENTIRE Life Into One Book

Oh sweetie, I see this ALL the time! You think your memoir needs to cover everything from childhood through today because "How else will people understand my journey?"

Here's what happens: you end up with a 400-page marathon that exhausts readers & dilutes the impact of your most important moments.

The most powerful memoirs are focused. They zoom in on a specific period or transformation rather than trying to document everything.

The Fix: Get ruthless about your timeline! Your memoir should be singular, one topic, one timeline, one transformation.

Ask yourself:

• What period best illustrates my theme?
• What transformation do I want readers to witness?
• What can I cut without losing the heart of my story?

If you have multiple stories burning to be told, consider whether they belong in separate books. There's no shame in writing a series!

Mistake #5: Following Chronology Like It's Gospel

Some memoir writers jump around confusingly (don't do that either!), but others make the opposite mistake: telling everything in strict chronological order even when it creates a boring, predictable narrative.

Just because something happened first doesn't mean it should come first in your memoir!

The Fix: Think like a storyteller, not a historian. Consider opening with a compelling scene that hooks readers, then flashing back to show how you got there.

You can also organize around themes or emotions rather than dates. What matters is creating the most engaging experience for your reader while maintaining clarity.

Pro tip: Avoid jumping back & forth constantly, that gives readers whiplash. Find a structure that serves your story and stick with it!

Mistake #6: Forgetting to Include the "So What?" Moments

This is the difference between a memoir and a diary entry. You can tell us everything that happened, but without your insights, reflections & lessons learned, readers are left wondering "Okay... so what?"

Your wisdom is what transforms your personal story into something universal that resonates with readers long after they close your book.

The Fix: Weave your insights throughout the narrative, not just at the end. Show us how your understanding evolved during & after the events you're describing.

Balance showing (the scenes) with reflecting (what you learned). The most compelling memoirs are like having coffee with a wise friend who shares both their stories & the gold they mined from those experiences.

Ask yourself: What would I tell my younger self? That wisdom belongs in your memoir!

Mistake #7: Treating Real People Like Cardboard Cutouts

Just because these people actually existed doesn't mean they automatically come alive on the page! I see so many memoirs where even the AUTHOR comes across as flat and one-dimensional.

Your readers need to connect with you as a character, which means showing your contradictions, vulnerabilities & growth, not just your triumphs.

The Fix: Develop yourself and others as full, complex characters. Show different sides of people. Include dialogue that reveals personality. Let us see your doubts, mistakes & imperfections.

Remember: Readers connect with authentic humanity, not perfection. The moments where you were messy, uncertain, or wrong are often the most relatable and powerful!

Your Memoir Deserves to Shine!

Your story matters. These mistakes? They're totally fixable! Every single one of them.

The difference between a memoir that sits in a drawer & one that changes lives isn't talent or luck: it's understanding these fundamentals & applying them with intention.

Your experiences have shaped you into the incredible person you are today. Now it's time to shape those experiences into a memoir that honors your journey & serves your readers.

Want some extra support as you revise your memoir draft? I'm here for you! Whether you need feedback, guidance, or just someone to remind you that your story is worth telling, I've got your back.

Ready to turn your memoir draft into the powerful, transformative book it's meant to be? Let's make it happen: one authentic, beautifully crafted page at a time.

Your story is waiting. Let's give it the love it deserves!